hookey

The discoveries of the day so far were that i dont need to agree with other people's opinion of how my movie should go. i am in control of how i feel about myself and if i bend to other people's will i am no better than jabba the hutt's lackey when luke tells him,"You will take me to jabba now". When jabba sees how the guy bent to skywalker the wizard's will, he despises him and says he is a weak minded fool .this is what god is talking about when he says he doesnt want any luke warm people , it is better to be naturally bad than artificially good as exhibited by the mutual respect between polar opposites jabba and luke skywalker. if either jabba or luke had bent to the others will , even though one is good and the other bad, making them natural enemies, their mutual respect would be destroyed. The result of this relationship of being polar opposites but respecting each other is that they only have short but sweet battles , and when they are not fighting hold each other in high esteem and actually love each other. this helps one love ones enemies . the only way to love ones enemy is to agree to disagree with them. if you dont take the chance to get beaten down you will live an unwilling slave, despised by the one you are serving and also despised by the one you want to get saved by, who is your master's enemy. only a free man can willingly submit himself to a slavery motivated by love.so do what you are happy doing , if you arent happy doing it , the guys you are doing it for will hate you , and god will also hate you even though you ask for his help because he only responds to whole people who broke completely. if you are still artificially holding yourself together you will never be eligible to accept god's help. you must be totally convinced of your error. if you think you are self justified or are right in your sin in any way , you will not ever reach god, so just go about your business and try to make yourself feel good about yourself naturally, and grow as a human being and let yourself develop naturally. wet, pliable clay cannot be re used. you need to have been shaped, glazed, fired beautified and then , only in a full state of development , as fine china thrown to the floor and pulvarized into a fine dust to be re-formed by god himself. because only god can re make clay that used to be china, it is not processable by a human and this is the fertile soil that they talk about in the bible when they are talking about spreading the seed, and some of it falling on fertile ground.

message from a tree

Message from a Tree

· Today is the closest thing to Friday I have had in a long time and it feels good. I took a bike ride and it is a day I am not likely to forget in a long time even though I did nothing totally out of the ordinary for most people. I went to Reverchon park at about 3:30 to 4:00 and had an extraordinary experience with a giant tree. I don’t know what kind it is, but I wont likely forget its location. The tree is so old and wise, that I feel like I have my own Don Juan to teach me things. First, I stopped and said hello to it and it didn’t seem very receptive, but it told me that it was just not used to having a human talk to it, that’s why it seemed so aloof at first. It (the tree) didn’t waste any time teaching me things. I started out by feeling its energy, and it was very warm, and its warmth extended out farther away from the tree than the one that got cut down over on Lemmon by the red and white checkered water tower. This tree has a completely different personality, not as heavy. This tree here at Reverchon isn’t as aloof as the other tree. Its as if the one at Lemmon were older than its years. The one at reverchon seems to be as old personalitywise, but as evidenced by the thickness of the trunk and the height, it has to be at least twice the age of the other one. This one has a mood to match Don Juan and is more tolerant and patient while listening to my questions. I asked him about the tree over on Lemmon and he didn’t answer me right away, but instead, I just sat there and it must have given me energy or something because I got really patient all of a sudden, and that just is not me. It was a feeling of patient energetic ebullience, kind of like the everyday feeling I had as a child when playing with my toys in peace. I was just about to leave when he told me, “see, that is your problem, you have no patience, I was just about to answer your questions. Sit down and look at the shadows of my bark and try to perceive the flipside. “ He must have given me some energy or something, because I was able to get a few good glimpses of the shadows as perceived as this world, and this world as perceived as the shadows. I had been trying to do that for a long time; ever since I started reading Castaneda. I guess it took my meeting of this tree to have a breakthrough. While I was sitting there practicing my shadow watching, during a break in concentration, it told me that I was the reason the other tree got killed. I wasn’t the direct reason, the tree knew its time had come way before I had arrived, but something about my being there had something to do with it. As if I am a black cat or a crow. The black cat and crow don’t make things happen, but they are signs of bad to come. He said its because of my heavy mood and because I indulge too much. I ---“Love it and kiss it and squeeze it and never put it down’’--- too much to everything in my life, and that is a coincidence because when I was riding my bike , what I thought was Jesus told me earlier today that if you live your life you will lose it. Its funny that a tree would tell me the same message put in a different context, as if they were related. I need to quit holding on to things so tightly in life. I need to let go . I am going to start going to the tree to get counsel, because I think it might be able to explain some things I want to know about God and the universe.

garden of eden

first ever blog